The day finally came. The day I felt ready to give Maci a milk bath using my remaining breastmilk. I finally felt like I could create this experience for us and let it go, close that chapter, allow myself to feel all the feelings in one final moment.
I didn’t get fancy. I didn’t use flowers or fruit or anything other than all of my remaining two bags of breastmilk that have been sitting in my freezer for months now. I had imagined doing something elaborate and exciting that would create incredible photos. But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted something so much more simple. I wanted it to just be us, an ordinary yet beautiful and special moment captured between the two of us. And it was perfect.
She hasn’t been able to breastfeed since the beginning of March. But throughout the milk bath, she never stopped reaching for and patting on my boobs. It was almost as if she knew what we were doing. She would look up at me and smile. Somehow she knew that a simple smile in our simple milk bath was exactly what my broken mama heart needed. And just like that, my heart began to heal.
Remember, sometimes you don’t always need the fancy or trending items for your experience to be special.
The photos below captured everything from our milk bath experience. It was incredible. In the moment, I felt so alive and so blessed, even though my journey was nothing like I had expected. Even though I have such hard memories to go with it. I still felt peaceful and alive. In these moments, I didn’t feel like a failure. I knew in my heart that my journey was special. It was real and it will always be a part of me, a part of us, a part of my motherhood story.
To read more about my breastfeeding journey, head over to these posts: